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Sep. 24th, 2005

Next revelation ...

I have written a lot of things like "I wish I were smarter" or "I wish I were a better problem solver" or "I wish I had a better career." I think what I am really trying to say is "I wish I were in a position where my mistakes wouldn't hurt me" or "I wish I could be forgiven for my mistakes" or perhaps even "I wish I had more money." (The implication being that if you have enough money (assuming you also have enough time), you can use it to get whatever resources you need to accomplish whatever you're trying to do.) Like my friend, I feel like people who pass through the glass ceiling have a safety net under them that catches them if they fall and supports them.

Also, I'm thinking of taking time off from piano lessons for the next few months. I'm feeling somewhat uneasy about things at work, and I'd like to create a bit of a time buffer so that in case something comes up that takes longer than I've anticipated, I have some extra time to do it that isn't already allocated. In addition, I won't have to worry about canceling lessons at the last minute or showing up to lessons distracted and/or not fully prepared.


( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
Sep. 25th, 2005 12:27 pm (UTC)
I think that is what you're trying to say - and what I try to say when I think "I wish that were..." statements. So hard - because we know we're whatever it is that we're pinning it on - but it's easier to pin it on "I'm not smart," or "I'm not in a good career," when the other thing is impossible - mistakes can hurt one, and money does move (some) mountains.


On the other hand, mistakes can be opportunities. That's what I keep telling myself, anyway - because it's healthier (and sometimes more true) that way.

Glass ceiling. Don't I wish I could past my personal glass ceiling. Or ceilings, in my case.
Sep. 25th, 2005 03:51 pm (UTC)
There's no doubt about it that having money makes your life easier. It may not "buy happiness," but there still are a hell of a lot of benefits. Like you said, it creates a safety net; those with $$$$$ don't have to fear failure cuz, even if they royally screw up, they're still going to have a roof over their head. I think that people born into money grow up with a sort of built-in confidence...because they know they'll never have to worry about some of the things the rest of us worry about.
Sep. 25th, 2005 06:15 pm (UTC)
don't stop
I wouldn't skip the piano lessons if I were you. The one thing I truely regret is giving up my sax for computers when I switched high schools.

Do what makes you happy, brah. Keep plugging away. Something will present itself.
Sep. 25th, 2005 09:18 pm (UTC)
Re: don't stop
I didn't know you played sax, or I must've forgotten. Why'd you give it up? Just curious.

If I do give up piano lessons, I'll continue to practice scales and such. Also, I'll still have chorus; hopefully I won't have to give that up.
Sep. 26th, 2005 04:31 am (UTC)
Re: don't stop
I gave up playing bari sax when I moved back to Maryland for 11th and 12th grades. I should have kept it up but I didn't.

I satisfy the urge with a harmonica and the mountain dulcimer. But playing by myself isn't as fun as playing in the jazz band in high school was or going caroling (Mr. Zeradnik handed me a clarinette to play then and I faked it by ear) that one winter.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )