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On Tuesday my chorus kicked off its fall rehearsal season. I was impressed by our ability to read through one of the pieces (The Most Wonderful Time of the Year). We've come a long way since I first joined seven years ago.

I had some disturbing dreams on Tuesday night, and woke up tired and feeling like I was catching a cold. The feeling persisted through my meeting with a Right counselor. When I got home, I took my usual exercise walk, but didn't feel much better afterwards. I started feeling anxious and worried about finding a job, etc.

It has occurred to me that I don't feel comfortable asking friends, acquaintances, and past co-workers for help or advice regarding my job search. I really have to force myself to do that, which makes me feel bad. Also, I realized I am still carrying around a lot of pain about AV. Talking to Right consultants brings back a lot of this pain. I sometimes wonder if I should stop looking for work for a while, until I'm feeling less pain. I'm feeling conflicting emotions about this, because while I realize I may need more healing time, I also realize I have to go back to work eventually.

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