September 14th, 2003

classic cylon

what if ...

Debbie asks if we are happy with our lives, and if there is anything we would do over again, if we could. If you know me, you know the answer is that there's a lot I am unhappy about (also a lot to be thankful for). There are many things I wish I could change, academically and career-wise, that I think would have put me in a much stronger position than I am now.

It wouldn't be productive to spend a lot of time going into the details. However, there is one thing that has been on my mind lately. I feel like even though I still have a job, I have lost out, career-wise, in comparison with many of my peers. I have not had the opportunity to be promoted, or to at least be put in a position where I exercise more control over my situation, in the sense that there is an obvious division of responsibility between my work and the work of others who I depend upon. I think that other engineers at my company are in a much better position in that regard, and have a lot more opportunities to succeed than I do. Basically, I feel like I am stuck holding things together, instead of moving forward.

I'd write more, but as I said, it would not be productive. I just have to try to gain satisfaction out of the non-career aspects of my life.

  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed